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Navigating Emotions in Conflict
The ability to engage constructively with people who are emotionally invested without being hijacked by their emotion.
Understanding the skill
Why this matters
- Most conflicts involve people emotionally invested in their position.
- You can move disagreements forward even when emotions are high.
- You don't get pulled into defensive escalation by someone's emotion.
What goes wrong
- Dismissing emotions as irrational instead of understanding them.
- Trying to logic someone out of feelings that weren't logical to begin with.
- Getting emotional yourself when the other person becomes emotional.
Best practices
- Acknowledge the emotion without agreeing with the position.
- Separate the person from the problem.
- Make them feel heard before trying to change their mind.
Further reading
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High
Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler
2011
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life
Marshall B. Rosenberg
2003
Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen
2010
Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life
Susan David
2016
Seen in practice
How remarkable people used a similar pattern
These are source-backed parallels from our Thinking Profiles, not claims that each person used this formal label.